I think my neighbour's dog is gay

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Avago-Earo
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I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby Avago-Earo » Thu Apr 12, 2018 5:38 am

Right, first things first. Lets get this out of the way so hopefully some laughter may ensue: Love is probably the most important and fantastic thing you might be fortunate enough to engage in. So, Whether it's someone from the same gender, or opposite, it's your heart and that's precious. Go for it.

Right, this is taking me ages to type. I'm looking after my neighbours dog (got another week of this). It's huge. It's a fucking Beauceron. I went to bed and it kept sticking its muzzle up my boxer shorts. 'Whatever' you mat say, in al Kathy Burke internal dialogue. Thing is, I thought, 'right, Male dog needs exercise', but he won't leave my side. Her's doing it now. Thing is, my thing is shagging human females, not male dogs.

So... in my wisdom (and my kind of tiredness) I called the RSPCA, and asked them if there was a 'gay group' for dogs. The woman on the phone didn't sound like she was taking me seriously.

What if I get lucky ...'sorry about that, my balls appear to be swamped in dog saliva, what's that bit you were showing me a map for?'

Not that I can get away, it's got a mouth full of nine inch nails.

He's called 'Rudy'.

Well, one thing's for sure; I won't get robbed
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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby COMFF » Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:04 am

lol um good luck with that xD

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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby Lanceor » Thu Apr 12, 2018 9:20 am

Um... I'm not sure what to say about a story like that!
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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby LeDoyen » Thu Apr 12, 2018 12:28 pm

I'd have the dog immediately checked at the Vet for spine issues...

Maybe it can't reach for its balls anymore and tries with yours :p

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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby CasualGard » Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:22 pm

Is it really gay when he has a crush on you? Isn't that more of a cross-species romance of sorts? Is it legal? :-D Maybe he can go to jail for it....
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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby TorTorden » Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:12 pm

Dogs eat their own poop.

Maybe he's trying to tell you it's time for a shower and serious scrub?
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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby Cmdr Kharma » Thu Apr 12, 2018 4:13 pm

Maybe he just likes the taste of your balls.........

Neighbour single by any chance?


Barbara Woodhouse......

"Dog Owning For The Single Person"

Chapter 6

"How to train a dog to enhance knocking one out"

:D
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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby TorTorden » Thu Apr 12, 2018 5:42 pm

Cmdr Kharma wrote:Maybe he just likes the taste of your balls.........

Neighbour single by any chance?


Barbara Woodhouse......

"Dog Owning For The Single Person"

Chapter 6

"How to train a dog to enhance knocking one out"

:D


Reminds me a little of this story from another guy.
He was having a good time with a lady and while he was 'warming his ears' in preparation this chicks pug comes along and starts licking him in the ass.

He eventually admitted to not stopping the dog...
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Rule 2: No such thing as overkill, as long as there are reloads.

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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby Avago-Earo » Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:42 pm

TorTorden wrote:Dogs eat their own poop.

Maybe he's trying to tell you it's time for a shower and serious scrub?

I don't always care for my head with alcohol, but I bath daily.

Update: My mate (dog owner) said crouch down and get on eye level. I did, and now I'm with a friendly dog. Don't want to give him back nowto be honest.

Play Up Pompey: just to be obnoxious.
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Re: I think my neighbour's dog is gay

Postby Cmdr Kharma » Thu Apr 12, 2018 8:01 pm

So it could be said that you and the dog are seeing eye to eye now.........

Boom......Boom.......

:D
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