(Ahem) it has been reported that there was a minor incident in Riff Raff's Bar, the other night - where a battle weapon was accidentally discharged a number of times, (ahem). This incident is in no way connected to the loss of the Vintage bottle of Lavian Brandy - that was 'Mislaid', during the incident. May I just say, the CCTV footage that was recovered is unclear and although it appears to show two CMDR's hunched in the corner pouring liquid into what looks like hip-flasks, it is very difficult to discern. (Ahem)
It is correct that CMDR Kharma, who shall remain nameless, and myself were arrested and forceably ejected. This was a completely unrelated incident (Ahem)
Oh, an ear has been found and has been put behind the left hand side of the bar, since the right hand side of the bar was incinerated and reduced to a smouldering pile of ash during said incident.
Let me take this opportunity to thank the local authorities for their fast response in extinguishing the ensuing fire with great haste. (ahem)
Thank you.