This relates to the hopelessly ill conceived missions in ED
I was hanging out at Thome station in the HIP 16607 system when a very foul smelling and seedy looking individual approached me. He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together and whispered "pssst....wanna make some creds?" I backed away from the virtual wall of stench and cocked my head to one side and said "sure, what's in it for me?" He then described that all I had to do was hang onto 18 tons of bio waste for a few hours and I'd be contacted as to where to bring it and I'd be paid 260,000 credits. I shook my head then grinned "why of course, nothing like storing 18 tons of poop in my hold, dropping it some where, then grabbing a load of gourmet cheese for some rich folk"
He gave me a toothless grin and just told me to be elsewhere while he loaded my cargo bay. I wandered over to the Gal-Net quickie mart and bought some necessities and gummy bears to hold me over for what looked like a long boring and somewhat smelly trip.
Upon heading back to the docking bay I saw the ship was loaded and my new associate suggested to just go about my business and be aware that certain parties might come looking for this cargo. I suppressed a laugh and tried to look professional and just nodded and crossed my legs to control myself. lol
Ok, so off we go on this mission. I'll spare you all the details but I had this load of festering dung in my ship for 5 hours real time. I was interdicted multiple times and every assailant referred to my cargo as "juicy" Yea, it was juicy all right. I peeked into the hold which sits between the engine nacelles on an Asp and there was a watery brown residue leaking all over the deck. I didn't even want to open the service hatch and just walked back to cockpit.
I was tooling along in Frenis when I suddenly got a message that I was to meet "Brown" in the Kraudji system and he would tell me where to drop the poop. I checked the message and the time window for the meet was a whopping 10 minutes. I thought is that 10 minutes my time, galactic time, light time or some other time I was not familiar with? I glanced up at where I'd put a clock in my cockpit if I had a clock. Oddly enough all my missions were timed and set to a clock at the station yet there was no provision for a clock in my ship. Should I dock and check the time? Imagine being at a stop and asking someone if they had the time and they replied "I'll need to fly to New York and call you because all the clocks are there."
I was in luck though as I was only one jump out so I rushed to Kraudji to meet the mysterious "Brown" and I was attacked by a persistent crazy in an Anaconda that told me that I hauled my last turd and he would mourn my death. I ran away from this guy because there was no way I was getting killed over a pile of poop. Finally after being attacked 7 times and "Brown" never appearing I jumped back to HIP and sent my benefactor a terse message that he could pound salt up his bum for all the poop I had to go through over this load of dung.
A split second after sending the message a glowing message appeared on my board that I was now in possession of "illicit cargo" I was dumb founded. I checked my cargo list and there it was 18 Tons of Poop...STOLEN!
OMG I thought I am about to dock at Thome and I am in possession of stolen poop. My mind raced and I thought "how would they know it was stolen, is there a way to check it; is that possible and who would get the job?"
My hand flew over the jump map controls and I targeted Harm and the Gentil station. "Yea that's the ticket, pirate black market or in this case the BROWN market....hehe they'll buy it, they buy everything there"
I made a quick run to Harm, docked and found a buyer straight away...I told him that it was in fact a Juicy Load and when I agreed to throw in some papers that sealed the deal. I tossed a few rolls from my stash into the buyers greedy hands sold the ship for a new one as I had no clue how to clean 18 tons of poop residue from the innards of my cargo bay.