I have had a few instances where there have been other commanders in the RES I was in. I made sure to scan them so I can Say hello by name. I also let them (they were winged) know I won't be intentionally stepping on their toes so to speak. Then I move off and take on my own targets. If a large vessel comes in the area, and they are on it already, I leave it alone. And they in turn left me alone when I was on one myself. Yes, there were a couple of times we both jumped on the same target, but it was not intentionally done to take another players kill, it just happened. When things got a little to wild with the amount of spawns, I lowered my sights. We were all in Vultures, but I moved away from them and was content to take down smaller ships and anything large that came in my way. At one point I noticed I was getting some rubber-banding (ships appeared to jump position instead of flying normally) and I messaged them that it was too laggy for me.
I left the area and wished them well. Would rather leave in an instance like that than make a mistake and fire upon them because of lag.
I find most are very polite. I often get chats and offers to team up. Most of the time I decline because I get interrupted a lot by real life and would rather not have that ruin their play time. Sometimes, I get no response, but with a busy RES area, there is a lot of chatter by the NPC's and real players words can be lost quickly. No Big Deal. I follow the same rules. Move away from where they are hunting and if need be, hit another RES zone in the system.
In the Conflict Zones, if there are players on the Other side, I will message them and say hello, and let them know I will not intentionally target them if they do the same. I have had a chance to go up against a couple of commanders in a CZ on the opposite side, and in all instances, had my derriere handed to me quite nicely. They have let me get away after beating me soundly without going for the kill. Its all in good fun. I have thanked them for not killing me. I would do the same to them. You have them down to no shields and low on hull, you are still running shields and not much damage. The victor is clear. Good Fight, thanks, and respect to them for taking the time to spar. If I ever got into it with another commander, and it was close, I would ask if they want to continue. If so, then I would have no problem going to the death. ONLY if they are willing. If they are there to make coin and our little battle is not profiting them, then we can move on. Takes longer to defeat a player than an NPC. Time is Money.
If in the CZ they don't respond, then I avoid them unless I am targeted and fired upon by them. Not everyone uses the Text chat as well, speaks my language, or wants to talk. No Problem. If they are beating me and I turn to run, and they continue, I will do my best to avoid death. If the tables are turned, and they run, I will not pursue. I have proved my point. There is no honour in it to take a Commanders ship/life when that Commander is beaten and retreating.
If the player is on the same team, there are more than enough targets for everyone. Sure, he got the conda this time, I can get the next. Or I can take out the 2 pythons while they are taking on the conda. Maybe I can even help them by taking another ship off their back so they can do the job. If they complain of kill stealing, take it as they are there for the money, want no part of your help and move on. LOTS of targets for everyone.
In the end, it is a game. We spend time to play. The group allows for PVP only in the CZ areas, but even then, I believe it is up to me to be polite about it. Some want absolutely no part of PVP and are in the CZ to make money. I don't want to ruin their game. I don't want mine ruined either. If we are both ok with it, then so be it. If it results in a kill (me or them) then so be it. If they are so set upon making the big kills, let them. You can always pop out and back into a (hopefully) different instance, or go it solo. (Best is to let them have the condas, and you take out 3 clippers, 2 drop ships, and a couple of Pythons while they take down one conda
)
But if they are being really Dickish, then let them be. No need to deal with that part of it. Make a note, take vid or a screenshot if it's real bad. Report it and move on. It's your game too, and there is no reason to waste time with someone who might really be a dick, or is just be a dick because they are having a bad day, or just doesn't understand.
TL;DR
Have fun, make contact, state your intentions, and play. Move on if things go south. Oh yeah, Have Fun.