Solving Problems - the SDC Way
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 5:33 pm
In most places, to be allowed to drive on public roads, a person must be mature, take instruction, pass tests and obtain a license. They must also agree to follow the law, or rules of the road. Driving safely is in everyone's best interest, and I believe most people take it seriously. They work hard to earn money to buy a car and pay for insurance, and they need the car for work and to live, and they don't want to throw away their money, or their lives, if it can be easily avoided. Yet every year, more than a million people die from traffic related "accidents". Some of these are unavoidable and caused by unexpected mechanical failure, but the vast majority are caused by negligent drivers and unsafe vehicles.
Based on logic recently expounded by an SDC founder, all the world's problems can be easily solved using a simple technique. I'll just give a few examples, using SDC logic, on how to deal with road and traffic safety issues.
Problem 1: Head-On Collisions
Driving along almost any city street or country road, cars pass each other at high speed going in opposite directions. All it takes is a bit of inattention or irresponsibility on the part of one driver to cause a collision.
Solution 1:
Get a big truck, maybe a trash truck, or a tank would be even better, and purposely cross over into oncoming traffic and crash into as many cars as possible. Of course, you'd want to avoid crashing into other large vehicles. After all, you are trying to make a point - not get hurt yourself. Eventually, the government would have to take notice and would have to develop ways to make it impossible for head-on collisions to occur.
Problem 2: Collisions at Intersections
Intersections have stop signs or traffic lights. We rely on other drivers to stop when they are supposed to, but every day, someone is distracted by talking on the phone to texting and drives through a red light and crashes into someone else.
Solution 2:
Red lights and stop signs are for pussies. Get back in your big truck and barrel through intersections ignoring all traffic signals. Aim directly for other cars, or better yet, fake them out and make them think you are stopping, and then floor it and run over them. Get your friends involved and you can crash into people from four directions at the same time - it's great fun. Eventually, the government would have to take notice and would have to develop ways to make it impossible for cars to enter intersections against the signals.
Problem 3: Pedestrians in Crosswalks and on Sidewalks
As a pedestrian, you know you will lose in a collision with a vehicle, so you need to keep your head on a swivel and pay attention to your surroundings. But pedestrians are still hit by cars every day.
Solution 3:
When you are stopped and a pedestrian enters the crosswalk, wait for them to get in front of you and then floor the accelerator. Or if you are driving down the street and you see people on the sidewalk, just jump the curb and run them over. Even the smallest car will win against these helpless pedestrians. Eventually, the government would have to take notice and would have to develop ways to make it impossible for cars to drive up on sidewalks or enter occupied crosswalks.
So as you can see, by following these simple techniques, we can eventually live in a world where almost all traffic accidents can be avoided. It's just that simple. Some people may think this sounds crazy, and the solution is for irresponsible drivers to have their driving privileges taken away, and maybe even be throw in jail. They think drivers should just act responsibly, follow the rules of the road, and be friendly to other drivers. But these are just the ravings of pablum-puking care bears. The SDC knows better. Just do whatever you want - lie, cheat, steal - and as long as you are not physically kept from doing it, then just do it (tm). Eventually it will be made impossible to not play by the rules, and we will not have to rely on the honor and cooperation of other human beings. This SDC logic is undeniable.
Based on logic recently expounded by an SDC founder, all the world's problems can be easily solved using a simple technique. I'll just give a few examples, using SDC logic, on how to deal with road and traffic safety issues.
Problem 1: Head-On Collisions
Driving along almost any city street or country road, cars pass each other at high speed going in opposite directions. All it takes is a bit of inattention or irresponsibility on the part of one driver to cause a collision.
Solution 1:
Get a big truck, maybe a trash truck, or a tank would be even better, and purposely cross over into oncoming traffic and crash into as many cars as possible. Of course, you'd want to avoid crashing into other large vehicles. After all, you are trying to make a point - not get hurt yourself. Eventually, the government would have to take notice and would have to develop ways to make it impossible for head-on collisions to occur.
Problem 2: Collisions at Intersections
Intersections have stop signs or traffic lights. We rely on other drivers to stop when they are supposed to, but every day, someone is distracted by talking on the phone to texting and drives through a red light and crashes into someone else.
Solution 2:
Red lights and stop signs are for pussies. Get back in your big truck and barrel through intersections ignoring all traffic signals. Aim directly for other cars, or better yet, fake them out and make them think you are stopping, and then floor it and run over them. Get your friends involved and you can crash into people from four directions at the same time - it's great fun. Eventually, the government would have to take notice and would have to develop ways to make it impossible for cars to enter intersections against the signals.
Problem 3: Pedestrians in Crosswalks and on Sidewalks
As a pedestrian, you know you will lose in a collision with a vehicle, so you need to keep your head on a swivel and pay attention to your surroundings. But pedestrians are still hit by cars every day.
Solution 3:
When you are stopped and a pedestrian enters the crosswalk, wait for them to get in front of you and then floor the accelerator. Or if you are driving down the street and you see people on the sidewalk, just jump the curb and run them over. Even the smallest car will win against these helpless pedestrians. Eventually, the government would have to take notice and would have to develop ways to make it impossible for cars to drive up on sidewalks or enter occupied crosswalks.
So as you can see, by following these simple techniques, we can eventually live in a world where almost all traffic accidents can be avoided. It's just that simple. Some people may think this sounds crazy, and the solution is for irresponsible drivers to have their driving privileges taken away, and maybe even be throw in jail. They think drivers should just act responsibly, follow the rules of the road, and be friendly to other drivers. But these are just the ravings of pablum-puking care bears. The SDC knows better. Just do whatever you want - lie, cheat, steal - and as long as you are not physically kept from doing it, then just do it (tm). Eventually it will be made impossible to not play by the rules, and we will not have to rely on the honor and cooperation of other human beings. This SDC logic is undeniable.
), where people essentially duel each other in eagles.