If Countries Were MMO Players
Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 8:40 pm
I'm bored and sober, so time for a writing exercise. It'll probably suck. You've been warned.
THE UNITED STATES: Not just PvPers = Open World PvPers. America would be the gamer you can depend on to always pick sniper, always grief-kill newbies and ALWAYS scream poorly-spelled epithets in your general direction. Will blame teammates for losses every time, unless it's that one loss for which no one could be blamed... and then they just won't talk about it.
BRITAIN: Britain will dabble in PvP, and used to be good at it once, but changes to the game world have left them behind. Also, it's more fun to get America doing the work for 'em. Britain will also employ passive-aggression better than any other player. They will use the most eloquent phrasing to call your mother a whore, and there's nothing you can do about it because of the Terms of Service.
FRANCE: The kind of player who is social, but only with that one group of players who thinks they're better than everyone else, hasn't done anything to prove it, and ends up sitting in the social area talking badly about people in a language only their group can understand. Dies quickly in PvP, doesn't fare well in PvE unless it's on their home server.
GERMANY: Min/max grinder. Germany wants the best gear and takes their quest very seriously. People tend to admire Germany's workmanship as it strives to reach its goals, but are hesitant to invite them into guilds or groups because of that one PvP match where they went batshit insane and started teamkilling. Might take a while to live that one down.
PRETTY MUCH ALL OF SOUTHEAST ASIA: The fashionistas. These guys will pretty much go broke trying to look good, and no, they don't give a damn what you think of them because screw it, they look SHINY. At least, to themselves. Surprisingly good at PvP despite being undergeared in that department (most of 'em have gear from the last few patches) - a few of 'em have even managed to hand America its ass in matches. Not that America'll ever talk about it.
AUSTRALIA: That one specialist player who's completely inept socially, but is simply too talented to ignore and occasionally says something enlightening - but usually only after the both of you have been drinking a lot. In time, players who befriend Australia come to find a much different person under the avatar they present to the world. But most players just can't find the time.
ALL OF AFRICA SANS SOUTH AFRICA: Free-to-plays. The game, so to speak, only cares about monetizing 'em.
SOUTH AMERICA: The ERPer. South America just wants to bone, baby. South America is not interested in your quests or PowerPlay struggle or any of that noise. South America just wants to know if you're male or female, and what you're into romantically. South America just wants you to be comfortable while South America does its thang.
THE UNITED NATIONS: Moderators. No one listens to 'em, and everyone's pretty sure they're following the mod's rules. Unless they're not following 'em, at which point it's just the mod's fault for incorrectly interpreting their own rules. Only has a valid opinion if another player agrees with it, and even then it depends on the player.
See? Told you it was gonna suck. :p
THE UNITED STATES: Not just PvPers = Open World PvPers. America would be the gamer you can depend on to always pick sniper, always grief-kill newbies and ALWAYS scream poorly-spelled epithets in your general direction. Will blame teammates for losses every time, unless it's that one loss for which no one could be blamed... and then they just won't talk about it.
BRITAIN: Britain will dabble in PvP, and used to be good at it once, but changes to the game world have left them behind. Also, it's more fun to get America doing the work for 'em. Britain will also employ passive-aggression better than any other player. They will use the most eloquent phrasing to call your mother a whore, and there's nothing you can do about it because of the Terms of Service.
FRANCE: The kind of player who is social, but only with that one group of players who thinks they're better than everyone else, hasn't done anything to prove it, and ends up sitting in the social area talking badly about people in a language only their group can understand. Dies quickly in PvP, doesn't fare well in PvE unless it's on their home server.
GERMANY: Min/max grinder. Germany wants the best gear and takes their quest very seriously. People tend to admire Germany's workmanship as it strives to reach its goals, but are hesitant to invite them into guilds or groups because of that one PvP match where they went batshit insane and started teamkilling. Might take a while to live that one down.
PRETTY MUCH ALL OF SOUTHEAST ASIA: The fashionistas. These guys will pretty much go broke trying to look good, and no, they don't give a damn what you think of them because screw it, they look SHINY. At least, to themselves. Surprisingly good at PvP despite being undergeared in that department (most of 'em have gear from the last few patches) - a few of 'em have even managed to hand America its ass in matches. Not that America'll ever talk about it.
AUSTRALIA: That one specialist player who's completely inept socially, but is simply too talented to ignore and occasionally says something enlightening - but usually only after the both of you have been drinking a lot. In time, players who befriend Australia come to find a much different person under the avatar they present to the world. But most players just can't find the time.
ALL OF AFRICA SANS SOUTH AFRICA: Free-to-plays. The game, so to speak, only cares about monetizing 'em.
SOUTH AMERICA: The ERPer. South America just wants to bone, baby. South America is not interested in your quests or PowerPlay struggle or any of that noise. South America just wants to know if you're male or female, and what you're into romantically. South America just wants you to be comfortable while South America does its thang.
THE UNITED NATIONS: Moderators. No one listens to 'em, and everyone's pretty sure they're following the mod's rules. Unless they're not following 'em, at which point it's just the mod's fault for incorrectly interpreting their own rules. Only has a valid opinion if another player agrees with it, and even then it depends on the player.
See? Told you it was gonna suck. :p
